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What will you do if the person you love the most is eventually dying? Will you cherish your every moments with him - tell him how much you love him? But what if you can’t be with that person until his last breath?

I grew up with my grandparents. I was a granddaddy’s girl and I’ve always been his number one fan. We were so happy back then and I can still remember the laughter we made together. But life suddenly turned around in the year 2008. My daddy was sick. We went to Manila and had him checked up. He was diagnosed to have diabetes and worst, the doctors need to cut his left leg. I was with him in his hardships and I saw his tears when his left leg had gone. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t because I know he didn’t want to see me crying. In 2008, same year that my daddy lost his leg, a great opportunity was given to me: to be able to study in one of the prestigious schools in Manila – St. Paul College of Makati. At first I was a little confused but I finally decided to stay.

My daddy became worse in the year 2009 and the years after. He couldn’t see anymore. Why the hell did he become like that? He doesn’t have his left leg and he’s totally blind now. He was such a loving person and I really don’t get why does he have to experience such.

Mommy, on the hand lost her love for daddy. It all started when she had a phone and a bullshit textmate. Few years ago, I could always see them happy together, but now I don’t know if they were even married.  She doesn’t care about daddy anymore and there are times when she wanted him to die already. What the heck happened to them?

Recently, my daddy had a stroke. He couldn’t speak anymore. He lost his leg, became totally blind, and now he couldn’t speak? Why him? Why does he have to experience all these? He’s a good person, I swear.

Tears suddenly fell when I knew about it. I wanted to come home but I couldn’t because I still need to fix my college life. Now, they’re texting me:

Me: How’s daddy? Is he fine now? L

Yaya: Yup, he’s all good now but he wanted you to come home. He wants to hug you and he misses you so much. When are you planning to come home, when he dies?

Me: Please don’t say that yaya.. I promise to come home as soon as I’m done with what I have to do..

Yaya:  Okay then.. your daddy’s waiting for you.. we all are. So you better come home..

Me: yes yaya.. I miss you all so much

I guess I was right, he’s only waiting for me.. is he really dying? Please don’t get him from me.. at least not this time. I’m still not ready…